I apologize.
I am unreliable.
I am unreliable because I cannot rely on myself.
I cannot rely on my emotions.
I cannot rely on my thoughts.
Sometimes they are lies.
Sometimes they are flimsy facades for something else.
Sometimes they are exactly what they seem.
Sometimes a baby’s laugh will make me beam like sunlight,
today it made me cry.
I don’t always answer your messages.
I don’t always call.
It’s hard.
It’s hard enough going to work.
It’s hard enough.
It’s hard enough facing that reflection.
I love you,
and I can’t face you like that.
I am unreliable
you don’t need to know how bad it gets,
you don’t need to know how little you can help.
I promise.
I promise I’ll call if I ever need help.
