I work at a liquor store now, and my trainer carded me today because I apparently look a decade older than I am.
Am I the picture of Dorian Gray?
If I’m the picture of Dorian Gray, what happens if I kill Dorian Gray?
Can there be only one?
Will I become one with everything?
Will they retcon that synthesis in the sequel?
In the sequel, will it turn out that Dorian is actually my father?
Will he come back if I say his name three times?
Will he cut off my hand?
Can I have that storyline without the awkward subplot where I’m crushing on my sister? I love her, but I don’t love her.
Will I get in a disfiguring car crash?
Will I discover a successful career in voice acting?
Will they let me play Wolverine in the video game?
What if I accept the offer to join the X-Men early?
Would I remember if I did?
Which Marvel universe am I in?
Am I Iron Man?
No… he’s Iron Man?
That dude is Iron Man?
Really?
Alright, I guess I’ll accept that?
No wait, is he the Iron Giant?
Are you sure? That sounds like Vin Diesel.
I’m kind of excited for the new Chronicles of Riddick movie, and I don’t really know why.
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