so, my grampa told me he wants to hang around until we grandkids start havin’ kids,
course, as the oldest grandkid–
love him,
ain’t always had the best of relationships with him,
but on my graduation he bought me a white gold bracelet with my name on it,
the kind of thing he’d wear,
if that gives you any image,
course, now it’s on the bottom of some man-made lake–
in some shitty suburb of walmart HQ,
‘cause the girl I was in love with at the time–
‘n I had some troubles,
‘n she threw it into the lake,
knownin’ it was one of two gifts he gave me that were worth more than ten dollars,
‘n one of three I actually remembered.
‘n he wants great-grand kids…
you know, I told myself I’d be ready for this,
some snark ‘n some well practices dismissal,
but he’s been pissin’ in a bag for half a year…
and all artifice aside,
I love him, and I want him to be happy,
I want him to be around for a while,
so I hope my married younger cousin is feeling baby happy sometime soon,
’cause I ain’t packin’ the goods.
how proud he would have been those years ago…
and now
and now
my mom hasn’t even shared that with her father,
and I love her for that.
but this is hard.
