I’ve been watching gay porn for hours,
there’s something beautiful about it.
Last time I wore a dress I was drunk on pink lemonade flavored vodka,
my best friend drinking her mixed drink from a five foot straw,
shit seeming as alien as anything.
But those shoes, those fucking shoes.
I’ve never been much good in heels,
but I’ll learn for those shoes.
‘course, ‘course my parents still have that awkward pause between
“you’ll find a girl”
‘n
“or a boy.“
‘n I offer to go off buyin’ nightgowns,
‘n my own mother don’t recognize the greedy eyes I’m eyein’ all the dresses with.
it ain’t simple,
but I want to be as manly as they come,
but I like dresses ‘n jewelry ‘n the feel of him hard against my ass.
for all the dreams I have of takin’ her by the scruff of the neck,
she’s got me chained and tied to her bidding.
but I’ve got shit ridin’ me but expectations,
‘n I’m saddle sore ‘n travel worn.
I just want a blank slate.
If I find you beautiful, and we fuck,
it’s cause I find you beautiful and worth it,
what does it matter if I’m bitch or butch or what?
You’re off callin’ them bitches cause they don’t take you to bed,
‘n I’m off callin’ myself bitchin’ cause I don’t like the way they talk,
but it’s all part of the same.
we’re all buyin’ into the idea that there’s somethin’ wrong with that.
I may be drunk, but I don’t feel wrong.
I just feel like I wanna fuck somethin’.
